The Thought Painter

I am proud of President Obama for endorsing same-sex marriage today and even more proud of Vice President Biden for stirring everything up this weekend. Obama cheered me up after waking up this morning to the news of what happened in North Carolina.

I went without a laptop for quite a few months this past academic year. I wanted to see how life would be relying on a tablet as my primary means of production. It was fun, but ultimately it was prudent for me to invest in something with a more powerful operating system. I bought an 11-inch netbook capable of running more than Windows 7 Starter (dude, I didn’t even know they made those) and watched as my productivity shot back up.

I didn’t leave Windows 7 on my new netbook for long. Now, I’m not about to rail against Microsoft or anything (no, seriously, I mean it this time). As far as operating systems go, I quite like Windows 7 and prefer using it over Mac OS X. With that said, I’ve grown quite accustomed to the Linux way of doing things. I used Linux primarily before buying my Android tablet, and there were so many times over the course of using that tablet where I wished I could just follow what the developers were doing and see just why certain apps were as buggy or delayed as they were. It was a very unfamiliar feeling for me to return back to my software being treated less like code and more like a product. Let me explain.

In Linux, when something breaks, I can proceed to google how to fix it and come up with a handful of possible solutions. More often than not, I’m able to fix what’s wrong this way. At the same time, for problems that I can’t fix, I can usually google why the problem exists and find out. I’m typing this blog post using Calligra Words, a word processor primarily intended to be used with the KDE Plasma Desktop. In remember using this program two years ago, when it was still known as KWords, lacked spell check, and crashed regularly. I was able to read and follow the progress the developers made over the course of the application’s development. On my Android tablet, I primarily relied on Quickoffice Pro HD for typing. It’s a marvelous app, but it didn’t get spell check until last week. Prior to that, the most I could find were press releases or web pages intended on telling me how awesome the product was, or the polite suggestion to request the feature on Quickoffice’s brainstorming page, which others had already done. Now, I already knew Quickoffice was awesome, I used it regular, I just wanted someone to tell me frankly just what was going on. I wanted to be treated as an equal, not solely as a consumer. To many people, interacting with software developers or computer manufacturers as consumers is all they want, and that’s perfectly fine by me; but this is one of the primary reasons why I prefer using Linux over Windows or Mac. I rather have the control and the change in atmosphere over the convenient ecosystem that comes with using the same operating system as most everyone else around me.

So when I wiped Windows 7 off my computer, I discovered that my netbook was relatively new and was still a hassle to get working properly under Linux. I used Fedora for over a month, switched to Ubuntu for a few days, and yesterday found success with a distribution I had never tried before, Chakra Linux. I managed to get it working properly, but I fell in love with it for many more reasons than that.

Chakra Linux isn’t trying to take over the computing world by directly challenging Windows and Mac, the daunting task that Ubuntu has undertaken since 2004. Its intentions are straightforward, to provide a stable Linux core with the KDE ecosystem on top. It is not meant for new computer users, or new Linux converts, or people who may not have much experience with Linux. They’re welcome to try it, but the onus is on them to figure it out. Chakra is intended for Linux users who want the cleanest KDE setup possible, and it relies heavily on the terminal for managing the system. In the past such extensive terminal use would have turned me off, but now, I consider it a draw.

See, in the past I was drawn to the possibilities that Linux presented, the idea of a Windows/Mac kind of experience, but free and open. Many Linux desktop environments are moving in that direction. GNOME 3 and Ubuntu’s Unity interface are attractive, touch-orientated interfaces. They have limited many options in order to present an interface that the average person can pick up and understand. This doesn’t bother me. In all honesty, this used to be exactly what I wanted. But now, after having spent several months using a tablet as my primary device and experiencing sort of an “ideal” clean, touch interface, I don’t long for such an environment anymore. Now I find myself drawn back to KDE, the most configurable, integrated, and customizeable desktop environment I have ever known. It allows me to edit many of the minor things that bother me (things such as font choices or the amount of space between the clock and notifications, things I wish I could edit in any desktop environment) as well as provides me with advanced options that really do come in handy (such as being able to right-click the titlebar and combine more than one window into one tabbed window, regardless of application). Likewise, Chakra’s website provides clear instructions how to get around the terminal. The distribution also boots and shuts down by displaying the processes that are being performed, rather than masking them with pretty boot screens. In the past I would have wanted the boot screen, but now I like the power of knowing what step my computer is performing and exactly when and where something goes wrong, if something goes wrong.

I have come to find Chakra to be the ideal blend of an elegant GUI and the command-line, where the former doesn’t intend to mask the latter. App stores are fine, but I’ve come to appreciate the simplicity of managing software from a terminal window, getting to see exactly what is going on inside my computer, and enjoying the vastly speedier experience.

In the past, I longed for Linux and open source software to take over the computing landscape. Now, I’m not as concerned about what the people around me use. I use open software because I personally prefer it. I do my part by using open formats such as .odt and .ogg whenever possible, and in this way I contribute to the open ecosystem I hope to see someday, but I won’t be disappointed if Linux continues to exists in the background. I’ll be happy to use it regardless.

And while I’m still excited to watch desktop environments evolve and mature, I’m looking forward to becoming increasingly comfortable inside the terminal.

This morning I read an article entitled “Form and Fortune,” by Evgeny Morozov in the latest issue of The New Republic. The article questions whether Steve Jobs was the visionary and philosopher that many revere him as. I feel that if Apple is phenomenal at anything, it is marketing, but I don’t intend to use this post going after Apple or Steve Jobs.

Several people who know me personally know I have a deep disapproval of Apple. It’s nothing ideological, I have no problem walking into a computer lab or office filled with either PCs or Macs and getting to work. For the two years I was with the Flat Hat, I worked with the office’s Mac computers, and they were quite nice despite their age. Before I went to college, I preferred Macs to PCs, but my first laptop ended up being a PC (which would be running Linux less than a year later, but that’s a post for another day; and what a fun post that will be).

My problems with Apple revolve around their corporate design and policy decisions. First and foremost, their prices are too inflated. A comparable desktop, laptop, mp3 player, and tablet can be found that does more than the Apple product does for half the price. As much as I wanted an iPod back in high school, I couldn’t justify asking my parents to spend $200 for one when I could get another mp3 player for $50. Now that I buy my own technology, the mindset is the same. Some people make me feel as though I’m very fortunate to have an android tablet, an mp3 player, a 3DS, a Nook, etc. despite how all of these things together cost me less money than their MacBook Pro.

Some people counter that they’re paying for quality, that Apple’s price is justified because it sells premium products. This does not fly for me, because Apple eschews many functionalities I deeply value. To me, a tablet, mp3 player, or smartphone that doesn’t have an SD card slot is offensive; my “dumbphone” has one! If I have an 8gb SD card lying around, I’m going to want to put it in my iPad. I don’t care if Apple considers 16gb, 32gb, or 64gb sufficient, it’s not going to be as good as its internal memory plus 8gb, regardless how much internal memory it has.

And do you remember when iTunes sold all of its music as m4a with limited uses? Or when the iPod only synched with one computer at a time? Oh wait, it still does that? (No seriously, does it, I don’t have an iPod) To me, an mp3 player better let me treat it as a flash drive and use straightforward drap and drop. For me, this is technological “purity,” a word Steve Jobs used to describe what Apple strove for in its products.

I’m all for technological innovation. I sold my laptop to buy an Android tablet, which is what I am typing this post on now. Of all the Android tablets available at the time, I decided on the Toshiba Thrive. While many tech commentators (especially Engadget, which I still regularly read) seemed to measure new technologies by how close they were to Apple products, my tastes differed. I fell in love with the Thrive because it was the only tablet at the time to come with full-sized USB, SD, and HDMI ports. It was the only tablet that would allow me to change my own battery. This means I can plug flash drives, hard drivers, and mp3 players into my tablet the same way I would use a laptop. This is what I value in technology: Let me use my products with other products, and don’t try to lock me into giving you money. If you’re enticing enough, I’m going to give you money regardless, you don’t have to trick or trap me into doing it.

Morozov states that “Apple’s most incredible trick, accomplished by marketing as much as by philosophy, is to allow its customers to feel as if they are personally making history — that they are a sort of spiritual-historical elite, even if there are many millions of them. The purchaser of an Apple product has been made to feel like he is taking part in a world-historical mission, in a revolution — and Jobs was so fond of revolutionary rhetoric that Rolling Stone dubbed him ‘Mr. Revolution.’” This is what I consider to have been Job’s largest success.

The thing is, in a free market, customers are always making history in this way. By adopting as many of Google’s online services as I do (okay, those are free, but work with me here), I am endorsing an online, cloud-oriented future. So many of us embraced Gmail that competitors sought to become it. By embracing ebooks, I am contributing to the decline of print media. By shunning Apple, I show that I value price, expandable memory, and ports.

Okay, so maybe I did spend this post going after Apple, but did I mention how much I love ports? I’m going to go post this now using the USB wireless mouse I had lying around that just so happens to work with my Thrive.

Sex in this country is predominantly portrayed as “instant gratification” by market forces or “character weakness” by conservative actors. Neither is true, and both are harmful.

When I entered college freshman year, I was proud of myself for having left behind console gaming. I still gamed, but predominantly on my PC where cheaper games could be found. I still ended up spending a lot of money, and when I transitioned to Linux, leaving behind Windows gaming, I was proud of myself again. As I transitioned into living on my own, I wouldn’t have to budget in the cost of games.

But at the beginning of my junior year, I bought a Wii. Of the big three consoles available, the Wii was the one my girlfriend was most likely to play with me, and considering how most of my time was spent with her, this would be the console to get the most use. I wanted to avoid the stereotype of being the guy who tells his girlfriend to get out of the way so that he can see the TV screen; I wanted gaming to be something that would bond us together.

In a way, it always had. When she and I first started talking the summer before freshmen year, a mutual interest in WarCraft 3 was a big draw for me. As a gamer, I dreamed of being able to share my favorite past-time with my favorite person and to have it serve as special part of our relationship. Early on, she and I played WarCraft 3, but after I switched to Linux (and gradually grew frustrated trying to get LANing WarCraft 3 to work using Wine), that stopped and we never found a replacement game.

I went into purchasing the Wii with the intent of finding that game, and I have bought many games to that end. I bought the Wii from a friend, so it came with Brawl (as I feel all Wiis should, but I understand why Nintendo isn’t inclined to do that). She and I played Brawl together, and while we managed to complete the subspace emissary together, it remained a game that all too vividly displayed the constrast in our individual skill levels. Rayman Raving Rabbids and Elebits were fun for a spell, but neither offered the longevity that a WarCraft 3 or a Brawl had to offer. I have since purchased many other games that we haven’t played that much of yet — Samba De Amigo, Donkey Konga, Flingsmash, etc. — that I have hoped may better even the score.

In the mean time, I have amassed a sizeable collection of games that were intended just for me. I’ve completed both Red Steel 1 & 2, loved Mad World, and laughed my way through No More Heroes (I have not yet completed the sequel). I’m currently playing Metroid: Other M, which I have thus far absolutely loved. Thanks to the age of the Wii, I have bought most of these games for absurdly low prices (especially after I realized how often GameStop has “buy 2 get 1 free” pre-owned sales). If I could consider my freshman and sophomore year of college a break away from gaming, that ship has sailed.

This was sealed when last year I purchased the 3DS on day one. It was the second console I had ever purchased with my own money (the Wii being the first) but the first console I had ever bought on day one. As a result, I have been able to watch first-hand the evolution of the 3DS. I was there during the “dry spell” when “no good games” were available (I, somehow, was having a blast with the great games I had purchased for it); and I was there when Nintendo hacked the price, dubbed me an ambassador, and bestowed upon me 20 free games. Now I have a decent sized collection of 3DS games, wondering just when the console went from something with only a handful of games released to something with so rich a collection. The difference for me is that being there to watch the console grow hasn’t come cheap. My Wii game collection is much larger (especially if I add in the Gamecube games I’ve bought) and arrived at so much less of a cost than my 3DS collection. Since I live on my own and balance my own budget, I must ask myself, has it been worth it?

Occasionally I feel disappointed in myself when I pluck down $40 for a new game. But considering how eating out tends to cost from $20 - $40 for two people, games have begun to feel like a comparatively good investment. A meal lasts for an hour or so at a substantially greater cost than buying groceries and eating at home. A game lasts for much longer, and the alternative to buying it now is buying it later, when and if the price drops (Hell tends to freeze over twice before Mario Kart dips below its originally price).

But besides the raw numbers, I have changed since I got back into gaming. My girlfriend comes from a substantially more wealthy family than I do, and I was jealous of everything from the frequency with which they ate out to how often they traveled. But over the years, I have gone from recalling how much of that I did not get to do growing up to somehow managing to buy pretty much any piece of technology I’ve wanted. Having the kind of lifestyle that I want and the things that I want doesn’t come at that great a cost. I’m not in debt, I have rarely had to ask for money, and I don’t even work full-time. In the years to come, I should expect to be able to buy more things, not less. And while far more affects my self-image than just how much I can buy, obtaining most of the things I’ve wanted not long after wanting them has made achieving my dreams feel more attainable. Rather than look at my girlfriend’s family with jealousy, I know that I will be able to do the same things sooner than I think.

As for games in particular, I have grown up with them. My parents gave me a Sega Genesis when I was 5. I eventually moved on to the Nintendo 64 (after having at some point owned the original NES but not playing it nearly as much), the Playstation, the Playstation 2, the Xbox, and the Gamecube. At the point when I had experienced having all three consoles during a generation at once, I lost any interest in moving on. The Xbox 360 and Playstation 3, even ignoring how expensive they were, did nothing to entice me. This was before I realized that having an HDTV was needed to really appreciate HD gaming, but even now, after having played or seen someone play some of the best games available for each console — Modern Warfare 1&2; Halo 3, ODST, Reach; Arkham Asylum; Uncharted; Skyrim, etc. — I still don’t want either console. The Wii, with its drastically different controller, remains the only console that really appeals to me. It’s the only one where the experience feels very different from what I experienced growing up; I have grown tired of just holding a gamepad to game. But back to my point, I have grown up with games, and at a time of my life when most everything has changed, gaming brings back something familiar. When I first told my mother that I had purchased a Wii, she seemed happy to know that something about her oldest son had remained the same.

Yesterday, a good friend came over to spend the day with my girlfriend and I. He and I played Mario Kart 7, then the three of us moved on to Rayman Origins, Donkey Konga, and Mario Kart Wii (the one Wii game he brought with him). We had a blast. With Mario Kart in particular, every retro stage harked back to rich memories in my life. I had played Mario Kart 64 with my dad as well as most anyone who came over to visit me. I had a very close friend throughout middle school, high school, and early college who has since moved away; and while it hurts to think about his departure, I have fond memories of us playing Mario Kart: Double Dash (as well as many other games). And in the present, it has been a long time (if ever) since I have seen my girlfriend loosen up the way she did when she made a surprise 1st place finish yesterday (no, seriously, where did that come from?).

Games have provided me with a common history to relate with other people with. But even more importantly, they create and remind me of some of the fondest memories of my life. When I drive around now with a car window lined with stuffed Mario plushies (and a stuffed Link!) it means so much more to me than just an appreciation for Nintendo. Throughout my life, games have appeared and re-appeared to give me a boost, just like a golden mushroom.

I’m currently reading Race Matters, written by Cornel West back in 1993. West’s analysis of the state of American politics was so spot-on that it still applies today, go figure. I’m going to disregard how discouraging I find the fact that liberals and conservatives are still making the same arguments twenty years later. West spends his first chapter addressing another issue that also persists today.

West’s first chapter is entitled “Nihilism in Black America,” and it covers precisely that. To put it succinctly, blacks have had to deal with nihilism since first arriving in the New World and are as in danger of succumbing to it now as ever before, if not moreso.

I’m aware of the feeling of black hopelessness; it has persistantly creeped around the periphery of my life. In my immediate family, hope is strong. Hope got my parents a brick home and their son into college. Hope, hopefully, will land me a job straight out of college. But at the same time, my grandparents’ neighborhood has steadily declined since my mother lived there, affecting the young family members still raised there. Politicians still avoid talking about these issues. Enough has remained the same that growing up in the 90s and into the new millenium, I still heard the sentiment that the white man doesn’t want the black man to have anything.

What West does is provide a reason for this hopelessness. Yes, “racism” still exists, but in a more abstract way. When blacks complain about being harassed by cops or overlooked by taxi drivers, whites respond by bringing up all the whites that don’t exhibit such behavior, as if this somehow erases the racism that was still present in the initial experience. Blaming the white man was easier when racism was not only systematic, but explicit; it was written in textbooks, preached in churches, and displayed on street corners. Now, when even conservatives emphasize the adoption of colorblind professional and educational practices, pinpointing the problem is more elusive. Blacks still see it, but it’s much more difficult to articulate it, and even more difficult to organize against it.

The social bonds that have held together black communities are losing strength. When blacks had no where else they could turn, they could rely on the church as an escape from the social hierarchy forced upon their daily lives. Now, blacks have other outlets. With white kids all over the country immitating Jay-Z and idolizing Michael Jordan while their parents elect Barack Obama, blacks have come to expect a cetain degree of racial tolerance in most places that they go. The problem comes in talking about the places that they can’t. They still exist, but now that the places black people can’t go are outnumbered by the places that they can, there lacks a single institution that can reach and organize black people, and there isn’t a clear institution to organize them against. The movement for civil rights has become diluted ever since equal rights became something that most white Americans hold in high esteem. Whites defined what equality meant to them, and the country has been moving towards that ever since.

Yet despite how similar the definition of equality may be, the experience remains different. The problem is, how? And after that, why?

This is where West’s analysis comes in. He describes the way capitalism has altered American values and values within the black community. As social bonds have weakened, they have been replaced by an increasingly relentless wave of marketing. But the values of love, patience, and caring are not values pushed in the marketplace. Conservatives are right in pointing out a deficit of values in parts of the black community. Where they drop the ball is that they refuse to acknowledge why. Liberals are at least right in wanting to provide the economic programs and incentives necessary to begin to alleviate the problem, but they, too, skirt around the root cause.

Black America isn’t suffering solely because it is disproportionately poor or adversely affected by prison, drugs, and discrimination. Black America is losing hope because it exists within a country that thinks its eyes are wide open and refuses to open its eyes wider. Broader America refuses to see that it still makes blacks feel not that they are afflicted by problems, but that they remain the problem. America still has yet to view all Americans as Americans and to help one another as such.